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Shades of Grey and Shattered Dreams converge.

"Hah, how do you know I'd be willing?" Ashley asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"You've never said no to my cock, but I suppose there will be a first time eventually." JJ shrugged.

"I might start. It seems your ego needs deflating. How do you manage to make it through doorways with such a big head?" Ashley smirked at JJ, who flung a small pillow at the blonde.

Ashley caught the pillow and threw it back. She knew JJ well enough now and trusted her so much that she wasn't worried in the slightest about JJ pressing the issue should Ashley say 'no'. The older woman had made it crystal clear on more than one occasion that she respected boundaries, verbal and physical. Ashley knew this stemmed from something more than just being a decent human being. It was the product of JJ's childhood, of growing up with boundaries

being constantly overstepped or not even in place when they should have been. It was JJ's way of making up for the abuse she'd endured and it made Ashley's heart ache to remember.

After a short pillow fight the girls finished Ashley's packing in record time and joined Debbie for a dinner of grilled chicken and asparagus with hard lemonade outside. It was a relaxed meal, which was the norm when the three women were together. Ashley sat back in her deck chair,

swirling her lemonade in it's bottle, watching her girlfriend and mother discuss grilling techniques and seasonings.

Watching them gave the blonde another wave of unhappiness. She didn't want

to leave and miss this; dinner had felt more like a family meal than it had in several years. While she knew that nothing would change drastically while she was back at school, Ashley couldn't stop worrying. Would JJ visit mom? Would they have lunches or dinners together still? Surely they would stay in touch without her there to facilitate it. She didn't want either of them

reverting back to their hermit ways. She had watched her mom become one after her dad passed. Ashley knew some of it was grief, knew her mom hadn't wanted Ashley to see her as weak or unable to provide. And there was the inevitable thought that if she spent any time with attractive, single men she was somehow betraying John.

Debra's laugh echoed across the backyard, JJ grinning over at Ashley, who beamed in return.

"Thank god we had each other", Ashley thought, sipping her lemonade. It had taken a year for Ashley to ask her mom what was going on, to leap the hurdle of nerves, fear, and worry inside herself to reach out.

Debbie hadn't been able to shore the damn and it all came out. The emptiness left from losing a spouse, the stress of bills and needs that had to be met, the sense

of betrayal, and the fear of losing Ashley - both in a physical sense and when college began.

They had talked as women, not just as mother and daughter, and reached a better place where there was no more guilt or fear. The grief took it's natural course and they both came out on the better side.

"Hey, quiet one. Penny for your thoughts?" JJ plunked down into the chair next to Ashley, flicking hair out of her eyes.

"A penny? Inflation has raised that to at least a dollar by now." Ashley teased.

"Shit. I'm fresh out." JJ made a show of patting her pockets, looking for cash.

"Mmm, too much fun out on the town last night?" Ashley cocked an eyebrow, finishing her drink in one last swallow.

"Yeah, couldn't resist this cute girl on stage. She was showing it all off. Gotta compensate for the view, ya know." JJ laughed when Ashley mock glared. "Seriously though, everything cool?"

"Mostly. Not looking forward to leaving. I'm going to miss you. Miss this." Ashley gestured to encompass the meal.

"That, my dear is what phones are for. Text me anytime. Or call. You know my weekends are free. We'll plan some visits." JJ reached over and squeezed Ashley's knee. "Want another lemonade?"

Ashley's last week at home flew by, as it always did.

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