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SusanJillParker has lots of questions but no answers.

As if they don't have enough money, can you believe the nerve of the NRA asking me, an unemployed, homeless woman for donations? Their incessantly annoying calls make me want to buy a gun. If I had a gun, I'd shoot them. Yeah!

"Police! Drop the gun!"

"It's okay. I'm registered with the NRA. Other than Cat Woman, Super Girl, and Wonder Woman, I'm the first female superhero. I'm here to stop the NRA from harassing me."

To quote Ben Hur, Moses, and better known as the late, great Charlton Heston, the once president of the NRA:

"I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands."

"What are you doing?" The mortician looked at his assistant.

"I'm closing Charlton Heston's coffin," he said.

"You can't close the lid yet," said the mortician.

"Why not?"

"Because he's still holding his gun in his cold, dead hands. He can't take that with him. Pry that away from him. Break his fingers if you have to and we'll glue them back with Super Glue."

* * * * *

Speaking of breasts, tits, jugs, and boobs, how's that for a smooth transition from guns to something that most men love to discuss? This may be a stupid question, especially with me being a woman but, here goes. Why do women have breasts on the front instead of the back? Before you answer, think about it.

Wouldn't it be much better if women had back tits? Yeah, true, how would women nurse their baby with their tits in back instead of in the front? Yet, what if women had breasts in back as well as in front? I can already see men unzipping themselves and ready to masturbate now.

If you're a man, think about all of the possibilities of women having four sets of breasts, two in the front and two in the back. Wouldn't it be more convenient for men if women had back tits too? I can see all of the subway molesters nodding their heads in agreement now. That way, every time you were kissing, you wouldn't have to reach down to feel her breasts, you could just hug her. What was once an innocent custom, hugging women, would quickly become sexually erotic.

"Right? Am I right? Go ahead, time me I'm not only right but also that I'm on to something. With plastic surgery and silicone implants, we already have the technology to give women another set of tits. Wow!"

"I love you Mom. I don't know why but for some strange reason, I just love hugging you," said Tommy hugging his mother every chance he got.

"Tommy, stop feeling my back tits and behave. Do your homework," said Tommy's mother.

"Okay, just give me a hug first," said Tommy hugging his mother again while feeling her back tits.

Then his grandmother entered the room.

"Grandma, give me a hug. How are you?"

"Tommy! Grandma loves it when you hug her. Can you just finger my back nipples while hugging me?"

Then, Aunt Rose came to visit with Tommy's cousin, Sally.

"Aunt Rose, it's so nice to see you again. How are you? Give me a hug," said Tommy feeling Aunt Rose's back tits.

"Oh, Tommy, give your Aunt Rose another hug. If I wasn't your mother's sister, I'd suck you before fucking you," whispered Aunt Rose in Tommy's ear while Tommy hugged his aunt and had his wicked, sexual way with her back tits.

Then, Tommy turned his attention to his cousin, Sally.

"Cousin Sally. Give me a hug," said Tommy with his arms outstretched.

"Get away from me you pervert. I'm on to you. You just want to feel my back tits," said Cousin Sally.

See? While a man is hugging his mother, his grandmother, and his aunt, he gets to feel their tits. Okay, maybe I just answer my own question but, seriously, wouldn't a woman having back tits be the perfect partner for dancing? I dare say that more men would eagerly get up on the dance floor for the sake not dancing but for feeling back tits.

"May I have this dance?"

Instead of calling their show Dancing with the Stars, they'd have to change the name to Dancing with Four Tits. Huh? What do you think? I may be on to something.

Now that I think more about it, ideally, women should have tits in the front and in the back.

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