Daniel loses the bandages, but keeps the 'nurse'.

I looked around, but I couldn't see no snake anywhere, but I remembered something Uncle Abe told me one day about what to do if you ever get bit on the leg by a snake.

Uncle Abe told me if y'all ever get bit on the leg by a snake, you got to get this here thing called a, "torny-kay," and put it on yer leg, so's the poison don't go spreadin', else that leg's gonna fall right off. Well, I sure didn't want my pecker fallin' off cause I'd have to squat down to pee like a girl so I looked around, but I couldn't see nothin' to use fer a torny-kay. I was real sure I didn't want that poison spreadin', but I didn't have no torny-kay to put on my pecker, so I got me a notion to squeeze on my pecker so's it wouldn't spread nowhere, so, I squeezed real hard on my pecker.

Well, my pecker was swoll up hard as hickory by now, but when I squeezed on it, it kind of felt good, so I squeezed a little harder and it felt a little better. Well, it seemed that the harder I squeezed, the better it felt, and then I got this other notion to rub on it while I was squeezin' on it. Well, I started rubbin' on my pecker while I was a squeezin' on it, and that felt even better than just squeezin' on it did, so next thing I knew, I was rubbin' and squeezin', and squeezin' and rubbin', and it just felt better'n, better'n better, and before long, it felt so good I took to breathin' real hard, too.

Well, I was a-layin' there on Uncle Abe's bed, squeezin' on my pecker, and rubbin' on my pecker, and huffin' and puffin' while I was squeezin' and a- rubbin', and I reckon I was breathin' so hard I musta sounded like that big ol' steam engine over there at the lumber mill, and it just kept feelin' better and better all the time. Then, somethin' mighty strange happened, cause all that rubbin' and squeezin' on my pecker felt so good I just didn't know what was going on, and it felt almost too good, and all of a sudden, I thought I pissed myself.

I laid there a moment, wondering what just happened, and I looked down at my jeans and there was a big wet patch on the front, so I looked inside and there was all this white goo come out of the end of my pecker. Now I was real scared, 'cause I remembered the snake again, and I figured it must have been the poison makin' all that white stuff come out of my pecker. Then I remembered somethin' else Uncle Abe done told me about when you get bit on the leg by a snake. He said that if you ever get bit on the leg by a snake you better get some doctorin' real quick.

Well, I remembered Granma McCutcheon goes in fer doctorin' in her spare time, so I jumped up and ran out the back, hollerin' fer Granma McCutcheon to help me. I was hollerin', "Granma! Granma! I need yer help! I done been bit on the pecker by a snake, and it got all swoll up. I squeezed on it to stop the poison from spreadin' so's my pecker wouldn't fall off and all this here while stuff come out the end of my pecker, and I need yer help Granma!"

I ran around to the back yard and Granma McCutcheon was stirrin' up a big pot of lye soap. I said, "Granma! You gotta help me. A snake done bit me on the pecker and I squeezed on it to stop the poison and white stuff come out the end of my pecker and I need you to do some doctorin' on me 'cause I don't want my pecker fallin' off or I'll have to squat down to pee like a girl!"

Granma McCutcheon stopped her stirrin', and she hollered, "What in the blue blazes is got into you boy?"

I said, "Granma! I think a snake bit me on the pecker cause it got all swoll up! I squeezed on it to stop the poison spreadin' and white stuff come out the end. I think the poison's done somethin' to my pecker so I need you to do some o' your doctorin' on it!"

Granma McCutcheon laid the stirrin' spoon against the inside of the pot and she walked over to me, and she said, "Wendell, you are a special kind of stupid!"

I said, "Thanks Granma, but I need help with my pecker, not compliments."

Granma