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You wake for morning glory.
The makeup sex was great, but after a week or two, she started pulling back again. Shit, I wasn't going to go through that mess again so I started dating her."
"What?" Jim asked. "What the hell do you mean, you started dating her?"
"Just that Jim, I started treating her like I did when we first started dating. I now called her to ask how her day was going, I brought home flowers, I took her shopping and even had dinner already prepared when she got home at least three nights a week. Carol looked at me weird for a little while, but after three weeks, she got more comfortable with it and just went with the flow; which brings me to today."
"I decided to take it one step further. I could tell she was a little uneasy this week, and I wasn't exactly sure why, so I planned a honeymoon weekend."
"I took Friday off and told her I had to go out of town for the day but would be home by 10:30 that night. I packed a bag and played it to the hilt. I had breakfast at Denny's and then planned my day. I made reservations at that new French restaurant, I picked up a box of her favorite chocolates and booked the honeymoon suite at the Ritz. I then went to the mall and bought a slinky black dress, Carol's been eyeing for the last month, and shoes to go along with it. I finally went to Victoria Secrets and found a sexy piece of lingerie, not slutty but sexy, if you know what I mean. Shit man, my plan was coming all together."
"I grabbed everything and headed for home to be ready for Carol when she got home. I noticed something wasn't quite right as soon as I walked through the front door. I put everything on the kitchen counter and then I heard it."
"Oh fuck yes, give it to me," I heard the voice say.
"At first I thought Carol had left the TV on a cable channel so I quietly walked upstairs. The voices were coming from our spare room, so I knew something was up. I leaned up against the wall in the hallway and listened."
"I bet your wimp of a husband can't please you like I can," the guys chuckled. "Let me show you what a real man's cock feels like."
"Oh god, you're going to split me apart, oh fuck but it feels so good; don't stop God damm it," I heard her scream.
"I was fucking numb and wanted to run away but my feet wouldn't work. Shit Jim, I wanted to cry, scream but all I could do is just stand there listening."
"When he told her he was going to fuck her virgin ass, I lost it."
"I ran down the stairs and had the front door open before I stopped."
"This was my house, and I wasn't going anywhere; I wasn't the one cheating upstairs. Jim, you remember a couple of years ago when we tried target shooting? Well, I saved that pistol and kept it in my desk in the den. I went in, grabbed it and headed back upstairs."
"Ken, please tell me you didn't do anything stupid," Jim said with a worried look on his face.
"Even though I wanted to kill them both, I didn't; hell, I didn't even had bullets for it," I told Jim. "So here I am in the hallway, outside the door, listening to them fuck away when I stepped into the room."
"Jim, they didn't even notice me. I must have stood there for at least a full minute with that stupid gun in my hands, wondering what to do next. Finally I reached over, and flipped the light switch on and off; that got their attention."
"It was that fucking prick Dan, from down the street; I didn't like him before, and I hated the bastard now," I told Jim. "You know the stories about when someone gets caught, the first thing that comes out of their mouth is bull shit; well their right."
"It's not what it looks like, it's just sex and please don't shoot us, is all they fucking said," I said downing the last of my beer.
"You want another one?" Jim asked.
"No, better not, I'll need a clear head later tonight, when I talk to Carol," I told him.
"Well, they just sat there in the bed cowering, begging me not shoot them.