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A BDSM story.
" She pressed her eyes shut and tried to figure out what to say.
"Uh, package deal?" She moved off and tried to focus on the TV.
"Look at me."
She didn't want to, but his words were so firm. He'd tilted his head so that their eyes were together. "What's so wrong with looking me in the eye? You close your eyes and open them again because you don't want to see me looking at you?"
He was just too close. She closed her eyes again and felt him cover her lips with his. His warm lips coaxed her lips open, then he moved away.
"Tell me," he watched her eyes open. "The next time you shut me out, I'm gonna call you on it."
'Should I just tell him my chest hurts every time he looks at me? It shouldn't, but it does. How can I feel like this when he used me?' "You..." 'No lie in the world will get you out of this. Bad liar, remember? Be straight with him.' "I don't like how you look at me. It's like... You want too much, okay?" 'And you just kissed me! What the hell was that?'
"I want the entire package, Jo. All of it. Not just the little bit of wrapping paper you set aside for other people. I want you to see that every time I look at you. That's what I've wanted all along."
He rested his arm on the couch in front of her and put his hand to her ear. He returned his lips to hers and cooed, "How about we try to talk like we used to?"
'Like we used to,' ran through her head a few times. 'Like before I found out about Candy. Candy. She probably thinks you're studying somewhere while you're kissing me.' She raised up to break the kiss and said, "I can't do that."
"You can. You can sit there and talk to me, because I'm here to listen."
"I think I should be talking to Gary, right now. I mean, he's ... He and I..." She still wasn't sure what they were to each other, but she knew that she had to make Daniel back off. Jerry had to have said terrible things about her. He could have said anything. She didn't want to have to talk at all.
"Oh, okay." Jo watched his jaw firm up. "So, you told him what happened at the shop?"
"No," she pulled her legs to her chest. "I don't know if I will. Maybe, when he gets back, we'll talk."
He scanned the room to gather his thoughts. He wanted to swear or throw something, but that wouldn't serve any purpose. When he was ready, he turned back, and quietly said, "I'm here. I know the whole story. You can talk to me, now."
He watched her turn to the TV. "There's nothing to tell."
He reached over with a long arm and shut off the TV. "There's a lot to tell."
"I won't say what you want to hear." Jo rested her chin on her knees.
"How do you know what I want to hear?" He caught her gaze as he got off of the floor. His legs were cramping up from the curve they had to do to fit between the couch and the TV stand.
She scoffed, "You want me to tell you what happened. Probably want me to cry, don't you? I won't do that. You won't get that out of me. It's off limits to you." 'I can't do that. You're disappointed enough, for now.' Jo wanted to detach herself from his obvious concern. She was fine with it, really. Three counselors and numerous group sessions said so. 'So, I'm over it. Especially since I got to tell him off.'
"Can we please stop playing the I hate Dan game and just tell me...?" He closed in on her and sat with his thigh touching her feet.
"There's no game, and I don't hate you. That doesn't mean I'll say anything. Move back," she said as her hand went to his arm. He put his fingers over hers. 'Stop touching me. I can't have it.' It was as though Dan had forgotten he didn't want her. His closeness only made it hard to think.
"No. Are you done?"
She looked away from him. 'I wish I was done with you.'
"I know what happened, because he told me, okay? Back then, he told me. I didn't understand. I do, now. But, I need to hear it from you."
Jo eyed him with a frown as he leaned close to her.
"I'm the same person that held you and told it would be okay. I need this to be out in the open. It's me you're talking to, Joanne... "
'Out in the open?' "I kno