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Meredith's fan falls into the flame.



In early March I went to Scotland to begin working for my Aunt's B & B business. I'm not a morning person; it was hard work, getting up at 6 a.m or earlier to take deliveries of food, cooking for several guests, cleaning, shopping, arranging repairs. Come nightfall and I was ready to drop. But, by the end of March I was getting into the swing of it, and one day Aunt Liz commented that I must be in need of the exercise, as I seemed to be putting on weight.

No, I hadn't told her; I was going to - honest. The house was quiet just then, the guests out seeing the sights, so I made us both a mug of coffee, then gave her the glad tidings as we sat in the kitchen.

'Oh, Christie!' Aunt Liz's expression veered between appalled and enthralled. 'I thought ye were being careful. How did it happen?'

'If you mean why did it happen, it's simple,' I replied, setting down my coffee mug. My hand trembled; I was not surprised. It wasn't every day I had to tell my aunt my own brother had got me pregnant. 'I forgot to take my pill. The Sunday you arrived, I was still so upset by what Lawson did I clean forgot. Monday I didn't notice I was taking Day 10 instead of Day 11. Christmas Day I forgot again because I was upset at being found out. By Boxing Day it was too late.'

'When is it due?'

'September.'

'What are ye going to do?'

'Keep it, of course.' That was a no-brainer. Even as Liam and I fucked for the first time I knew I wanted his child. The memory of that first time brought a smile to my lips.

Aunt Liz stirred when she saw it. 'Ye didn't do it deliberately, then?'

'Oh no! We talked it over. Liam didn't want a child for a few years; he thought he was too young for fatherhood. Honest truth, Liz, I meant to wait.'

'I can't believe what I'm hearing!' she said, her eyes wide. 'My own niece and nephew were serious about having a family together! Do ye know the risks, girl?'

'Enough,' I admitted. 'But my tests came out clear.'

'What are ye going to tell your parents?'

That was the $64,000 question. 'I... don't know.'

'Sooner or later they'll find they have their first grandchild,' Liz pointed out. 'They're going to want to know details, including who the father is.'

'I just can't tell them the truth! You only discovered us because of that water tablet.'

'And my cunning powers of observation!' she said with a weary smile. 'Christie, if ye want to keep it a secret from your parents, I'll not tell them. It's entirely up to ye. But how is Liam coping with all this? After all, ye'll be giving birth not only to his child, but his own niece or nephew!'

That floored me. 'That means I'll be giving birth not only to my son or daughter, but also MY niece or nephew! My head hurts!'

Liz shook her head. 'Aye, well, ye brought it on yeself, ye silly girl.'

'Thanks for the sympathy, Aunt Liz.'

'Ye're welcome.' She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. 'I'm not being horrible. It's time to grow up, Christie Ellison. A child is for life, and this child was marked from the word go.'

Summer came, with a flow of guests come to sample the delights of that wild Scottish shore. We were busy and cheerful on the whole, and the weather was superb - usually. My medical notes arrived at the local health service and I registered with a friendly middle-aged Glaswegian midwife called Joan, who had a fund of dirty stories, each ruder than the last. Before long my bump had begun to show, my breasts to swell. Denims were packed away, new brassieres bought. From then on, it was into loose dresses. Not long after that, I had a scan. Liam and I were going to have a daughter.

The man himself was kept too busy at work for month after month to take time off so we kept in touch by phone and letter. Eventually I could afford a PC and we talked on-line for night after night. In the early days we tried cyber-sex but I grew so frustrated at having to use my fingers as a substitute for Liam I eventually called a halt to it.

Naturally there was gossip in the village about me, Aunt Liz responding to enquiries about the father with a tired shrug and a

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