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Naive loving girl, prince charming with baggage.
"Can you stay tonight?"
"Oh course. I need to learn how to do that to you."
"You will, but not tonight"
I tried to reciprocate, eager to learn, but Chris just wrapped me in her arms and pulled the big soft duvet over us. As I lay with my head on her breast listening to her heartbeat my mind was racing and I couldn't believe she was suggesting we sleep, but in the space of a couple of minutes I could feel myself relax and sleep washed over me as I lay cradled in her arms feeling safe and cherished.
I awoke the next morning to find Chris sat naked on the end of the bed staring at me. I smiled sleepily at her and she came back to bed to resume my lesson. We spent the whole day talking and cuddling and fucking, only leaving the bedroom to visit the bathroom or collect pizza from the delivery guy and by the time I left that evening I had learned many ways to give Chris the pleasure she had given me.
I learnt that she was extremely ticklish and that she found it a turn on, I learnt that if I sucked her nipples hard while flicking my tongue against them it drove her wild, I learnt that when she was being eaten she liked it hard and fast - but that slow and firm made her pant in anticipation, I learnt that when she came her whole body tensed like a spring and she shuddered violently, but most of all I learnt that I enjoyed all of these things more than I had ever enjoyed being with anyone else, and by the end of the day I knew I was in love for the first time.
As I came back to reality from my memory I realised that it had grown dark outside and the rain washing down the window pain was mirrored by the tears streaming down the reflection of my face in the window.
Five years we had been companions and had been faithful to one another, but Chris stuck to her resolve and never let herself make any kind of real commitment to me.
Oh, I knew she loved me but I wanted more and this morning as she'd stepped naked out of the shower I had knelt down and kissed that broken heart tattoo.
I'd looked into her eyes and said the words that had driven her from my arms.
"Baby, can we move in together? I love you & I know you love me, I'm never gonna hurt you baby I promise. Please make me yours?"
She'd dressed so quickly and looked so angry I couldn't think what to say to her. As the door slammed and I heard her gun the engine of the car I sat in stunned silence on the end of the bed as my whole world fell apart around me. I had demolished our life together with a few simple words and then I received your text
'I'm sorry. I can't do it but I can't keep stringing you along either. It's probably best we call it a day. Chris x'
I'd texted straight back saying I was sorry. Begging her to come back to me, pleading for things to go back to how they were before I opened my mouth, promising never to pressure her again. There had been no response and I felt her absence like a block of ice resting behind my rib cage.
My leg had gone to sleep from hours of sitting on the hard window seat and I limped over to the drinks cabinet and poured myself a generous measure of whiskey. It was a single malt that Chris really liked and I rolled it around inside my mouth letting the fumes drift up my nose and feeling the gentle fire as I swallowed the pale golden liquor.
I lit the fire but neither the whiskey nor the burning logs could drive the chill from my heart and I sat shivering on the hearth rug with a blanket wrapped around me.
I woke in the early hours stiff and cold. The fire had burned down and I hauled myself up and walked to the bedroom turning off lights as I went. When the house was in darkness I realised something was wrong - there was light coming into the house from outside. I don't have close neighbours and there are no street lights around the lake so where was the light coming from?
Pulling the blanket tightly around me I opened the front door and peered out.