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She looked at me with an expression that I could only describe as hopeful.

"Jim, there would be no shame in that, just some mutual satisfaction. I mean we've been married for a long time; it's not like it would be unnatural." I stared at her for a long moment.

"A little mercy fuck for good 'ole Jimmy. Is that it, Marianne? My cock's so small that no other woman will likely ever give me a tumble at my age. So you're willing to sacrifice yourself to let me take the edge off. Is that what you're offering me, Marianne?"

"Jim, I am not trying to insult you here, and I think you know that. But-that said-it is easier for a woman than for a man. If you need it, well, it's just an offer for some occasional fun, Jim. And, the offer has no expiration date. A mercy fuck? Well, so what, Jim. Call it whatever you want. The pussy would be real, and so would my interest in pleasing you. Okay?" she said.

"Yeah sure. You know, I can't believe how many different ways you've been able to think up to hurt me, but this one, this one surly gets first prize. If I never get a piece of ass again, you can't bet your last centavo that I will not ever be asking you for anything, most assuredly for anything sexual. Go it!" I said. "Have a nice fucking life." I stood up and headed out, my bitterness reaching a new high. And fuck, let her pay the tab.

"Jimmy! Please! Come back! I didn't mean..."

******

I was in a seriously bad mood when the girls arrived. But, as a man's little girls often do, they made me feel better almost immediately.

"Hi daddy," the two of them said in concert.

"Did mommy speak to you, dad? What did she say?" said Barbie.

"Well, you obviously know that she and I talked. What did she say? She offered me a little mercy if you want to know. I wasn't haven't any," I said.

"Daddy, if you would just..." started Barbie, with Melanie nodding her agreement.

"No!" I said. "No compromise, if that's what you were about to suggest. She's either my wife, or she's not. No in between."

"Dad, Barbie and I understand, I guess, that there is no saving you and mom's marriage. God, and how sick at heart that makes us! Mom, blew it. We understand her reason, her excuse really, but we do not agree with it."

"What Melanie is trying to say dad is that even if-when-you and mom divorce we're still a family. That other man is not part of our family. But, there will be times, dad, when we will all be together. We..." I cut Barbie off with a wave of my hand.

"Barbie, Melanie, I never want to see your mother again, and certainly not with her lover. Not ever, do you get me. I couldn't bear seeing her with another man who I know will be sleeping with her instead of me. I couldn't bear seeing the most beautiful girl I ever knew acting sorry for me. I just can't. So, no, we will never be in the same place at the same time again. Earlier today was the last time I will ever see her, and that's that.

"Girls, I still love the woman. I always will. I am more than bitter and jealous and lost-yes lost-knowing I will never see her again. But, that's the way it has to be. She's dead to me. Please don't ask me to get along with her, to deal with it. I can't! Period! Okay?" I said. The girls looked at each other, back to me, and nodded.

"Okay, dad. I guess we understand," said Barbie. "It's gonna be tough on us, but we'll honor your request. We'll figure something out, so you won't have to be around them." My turn to nod.

******

Time passed as it has a habit of doing, but that said, the pain some have to live with does not necessarily fade.

For the next three years I never heard word one from my ex; well, except for the divorce if that counts as hearing from her. Yes, my ex had finally divorced me about a year after our last meeting. The delay, I learned much later had been on account of the cost. At any rate she'd married her lover, good 'ole Marcus, immediately thereafter. She was now missus Williams. Oh, and she had kept her word about not asking for anything in the divorce.

In the end I

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